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UPDATED: November 2021

Written by Maia & John

Finding a non-toxic mattress is super-important, but also super-confusing to work through. If your head hurts just looking at the length of this page, please feel free to email our Home Health Director, John, for individualized help. You can also call him at 802-613-3254.

This video is several years old (from the last time we updated this guide!), but everything in it still holds true. The only change is that Happsy mattress is also the very Best Stuff!

EXCLUSIVE NON-TOXIC MATTRESS COUPONS

The Best Discounts on our Best Stuff mattresses! We’ve negotiated these discounts for you. (See below, under Best Stuff and Good Stuff for Black Friday deals).

Plush Beds: $100 extra off, in addition to whatever other deals they’re running. Use code GIMME100.

Naturepedic: 15% off site-wide. Use code GIMME15.

Happsy: $225 off mattresses. Use code GIMME225. (With this discount, Happsy is the most affordable of the bunch.)

I hope these shortcuts are helpful for those of you looking to make a quick decision.

For the rest of you, read on for what to look for in a non-toxic mattress, the confusing world of certifications, and of course, our lists of Best, Good, Okay, Bad, and Sneaky mattress brands.

A Note on This Updated Guide

Thanks to the demands of customers like you, more and more mattress manufacturers have taken the steps to make truly safe mattresses with top-level certifications. This means that consumers have more choices – and our Best Stuff and Good Stuff categories have grown to include more brands than ever before.

We still believe that a fully-certified mattress is of the utmost importance. In this guide, we decided to give special attention to the brands that manufacture only toxin-free mattresses. Several mattress companies now have the proper certifications, but they are owned by other entities that make conventional (toxic) mattresses. Our updated Best Stuff category includes only the brands that a) have the top certifications that guarantee the mattresses they sell are free of all toxins, and b) aren’t owned by parent companies that pollute the environment by manufacturing toxic mattresses.

My Own Non-Toxic Mattress Choices

When I was pregnant for the first time, we decided to upgrade to a king-sized bed in anticipation of co-sleeping with our newborn.

Of course, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t agonize and research before making any purchase… and there was plenty to agonize over when it came to finding a non-toxic mattress!

At the time of writing this updated post, I have an 8-year-old and a 11-year-old, one of whom still spends a lot of time in our bed. I’m so glad I feel comfortable with (and comfortable on!) the non-toxic mattresses we chose, which is the Soaring Heart Zoned.

Our Top Pick for Non-Toxic Mattress

As you’ll see below, there are only three non-toxic mattress brands that qualify as the Best Stuff, thanks to their super-legit certifications and demonstrated commitment to safety and environmental responsibility.

We are both (Maia and John) now sleeping on Soaring Heart mattresses, which happen to also be the most comfortable, luxurious mattresses we’ve found.

Why a Non-Toxic Mattress Matters

I often tell my private consulting clients that their mattress is the very first thing they should upgrade when detoxing their homes. This is particularly true when it comes to a crib mattress.

The reason I feel so strongly about sleeping on a non-toxic mattress? Well, for one thing, babies and kids spend a lot of time sleeping, and even busy, night-owl grownups spend at least 25% of their lives in bed.

Moreover, there is evidence that your immune system works hardest at night, so it seems reasonable to make your sleep environment as clean as possible.

Toxins in Mattresses

Unfortunately, mattresses are loaded with noxious chemicals, including:

• Various petrochemicals. Indeed, MOST of what a conventional mattress is made of is petroleum-based.
• Polyurethane foam is the main ingredient in most mattresses. It’s composed of polyol and diisocyanate, both of which are derived from petroleum. Polyurethane is not environmentally-friendly and is dangerous for workers who work in its manufacturing.
• Flame-retardant chemicals are needed in part because polyurethane is so flammable. There is some good news on the flame-retardant front – more on that in a minute!
• Soybean foam is a Sneaky ingredient that sounds non-toxic. Unfortunately, the majority of this type of foam is still polyurethane.
• Synthetic latex, which usually made from styrene, a human carcinogen.
• Adhesives that may contain formaldehyde, a known carcinogen. Some organic manufacturers skip the glues all together–mattresses can be bound with thread, clips, or heat.

This chemical cocktail releases VOCs (volatile organic compounds), which are linked to a host of health problems, from respiratory irritation to cancer.

A Myth About Off-Gassing

Many of my clients think that their mattresses are okay if they are old because they have “already off-gassed.” Unfortunately, this is not true in the case of foam mattresses. In fact, as the foam degrades, more PBDEs (hormone-disrupting flame retardants) may be released.

Fire “Safety”: The Most Dangerous Part of Your Mattress

Mattresses are required by the Consumer Product Safety Commission to meet flammability laws, which previously meant that they were almost always treated with bromated or chlorinated flame-retardant chemicals, typically one of the first three on this list:

• Polybrominated diphenyl ethers. PBDEs are associated with hormone-disruption, and neurodevelopmental delays, including lowered IQ. The European Union has banned the use of PBDEs in electronic devices. Studies show that children in the United States have higher levels of PBDEs than adults do. Oh, and here’s the kicker: they don’t even work very well at stopping fires.
• Firemaster 550. This nasty chemical cocktail is made with bis (2-ethylhexyl) tetrabromophthalate (TBPH). Yes, you saw that word in there: phthalate. TBPH is nearly identical to to DEHP, the phthalate banned in children’s products (including mattresses!!) due to evidence of carcinogenicity and developmental toxicity.
• Chlorinated tris. This is the notorious chemical that was removed from children’s pajamas in the 1970s because it was shown to cause cancer.
• Halogen-free flame retardants. This newer class of chemicals (such as ammonium polyphosphate, aluminium diethyl phosphinate, and melamine polyphosphate) is believed to be much less likely to bioaccumulate than bromated flame retardants. I still prefer my mattresses to be free of even these.

In addition to these notoriously toxic flame retardants, companies may use some of the following ingredients to pass flammability tests: boric acid, silica, melamine, vinylidene chloride, and fiberglass.

Are Coils Bad Stuff?

There has been a lot of online chatter in recent years regarding metal coils in beds. We paid close attention to this and did some research, and arrived at the conclusion that steel springs present no known danger.

The bottom line is that there is no reason for concern. We simply cannot find any credible evidence showing that metal coils can act like an antenna and concentrate EMFs into our sleeping bodies.

What to Look for in a Non-Toxic Mattress

Now that you know what can make a mattress toxic, let me tell you about the materials and certifications that make up a non-toxic mattress. They include:

• Organic wool (untreated) is naturally flame- and mildew/dust mite-resistant.
• 100% natural latex (made from rubber trees) is safer than latex blends, which may contain petroleum-based polyurethane. You’ll probably read a lot about Talalay versus Dunlop latex in your search for an organic mattress. In terms of comfort, Dunlop is firmer and Talalay is lighter and softer. If you’re looking for a GOLS-certified mattress (more on this below), you’ll need to choose a mattress made of Dunlop latex.
• Organic cotton (grown in untreated soil, without pesticides) can be used for batting or mattress wrapping. There is a robust debate about whether or not the herbicides and pesticides used on cotton crops will wash/bleach out as the cotton is processed. Most studies show that it does, but some folks believe that a residue remains. We believe that the risk of sleeping on a mattress or sheets made from conventionally grown cotton are tiny. Still, for the good of the planet, we should all choose organically-grown cotton whenever possible. (Sadly, certified organic cotton is costly… about two times the cost of conventional.)
• Trusted certifications from third-party certifying bodies mean that some ingredients in the mattress have been vetted by organizations committed to improving air quality. This also means a safer sleeping surface for you. However, all certifications are not created equally!

If You Can’t Afford a Non-Toxic Mattress

Let’s say that you’ve looked all the way down to our Okay Stuff category, and checked out the coupons (top of this page), and you simply don’t have it in your budget to upgrade to a safe mattress right now. Unfortunately, there’s no way to wrap a mattress to protect yourself from VOCs. However, running a robust air filter will go a long way towards purifying your indoor air. This is the one I have in my bedroom, because while I do have a toxin-free mattress, I also have other furniture and rugs that aren’t as clean. I love knowing that the air filter is mitigating the damage!

Sign up for our newsletter to be alerted when we publish or update Safe Product Guides. Thank you so much for reading!

Non-Toxic Mattress Certifications

Sorting through mattress certifications is maddening. Here’s just some of why that is:

1. First of all, not all certifications are created equal – some offer great assurance that your new mattress will be non-toxic, while others are essentially meaningless.
2. What’s more, just because a company shows a certification doesn’t mean all of the material in that mattress is certified. One of our readers wrote to us about a mattress that contained Oeko-Tex 100 certified wool, but the company wouldn’t confirm that they solely purchase the wool from this source. Thus, in this case it would be impossible to know if the mattress you’re purchasing contains the certified wool or not (to say nothing of the other materials in this mattress).
3. Sometimes, a mattress will claim to have a certification that they don’t really have. One of the most common deceptive practices is when a manufacturer claims to have GOLS-certification for their latex mattress, and they even display the GOLS logo on their website. They might even show an actual copy of it on their website, complete with date and signatures. If, however, the certificate is not written to the same name as the manufacturer, it is not particularly meaningful. They are commonly written to a latex supplier out of Sri Lanka or India or South America. A certification written to an entity or person in Sri Lanka shows only that the latex was certified up to that point on its journey to becoming someone’s bed. Between Sri Lanka and your bedroom, all sorts of things can (and do) happen to the latex to cause it to be more toxic than the certification implies.a mattress will claim to have a certification that they don’t really have. One of the of the most common deceptive practices is when a manufacturer claims to have GOLS certification for their latex mattress, and they even display the GOLS logo on their website. They might even show an actual copy of it on their website, complete with date and signatures. If, however, the certificate is not written to the same name as the manufacturer, it is not particularly meaningful. They are commonly written to a latex supplier out of Sri Lanka or India or South America. A certification written to an entity or person in Sri Lanka shows only that the latex was certified up to that point on its journey to becoming someone’s bed. Between Sri Lanka and your bedroom all sorts of things can (and do) happen to the latex to cause it to be more toxic than the certification implies.

Best Non-Toxic Mattress Certifications

The two certifications to look for in your mattress are GOLS (for latex) and GOTS (for textiles). It’s worth repeating: the best organic mattress brands that have these certifications have the certifications written directly to the mattress manufacturer.

To obtain a GOTS certification, at least 95% of the mattress must be made of certified-organic materials, and certain chemistries are prohibited entirely, even for that other 5%. These include polyurethane foam, heavy metals, formaldehyde, and the fire-retardants listed above. A GOTS certification on a mattress means that the entire manufacturing and distribution process is environmentally-safe and socially-responsible. If you are curious about a brand that we don’t review in this guide, you can check for GOTS certification in the GOTS database.

One thing we love about GOTS certification is that in order to obtain it, a mattress must be produced in a facility that is also certified. This gives you extra peace of mind.

Similar to GOTS, a GOLS certification means that the mattress is made of at least 95% organic latex. Once again, the remaining 5% of the materials are also restricted in important ways.

Good Non-Toxic Mattress Certifications

While Oeko-Tex Standard 100 doesn’t require any organic materials to be used in a mattress, it does set limits for VOC emissions (such as formaldehyde). It also prohibits the use of dangerous flame-retardants and dyes.

Greenguard-certified mattresses have been tested, and are within limits, of certain VOCS, such as formaldehyde. Greenguard Gold has stricter standards than plain old Greenguard.

Okay Mattress Certifications

Organic Content Standard 100 just means that some of the ingredients are organic, but doesn’t ban flame-retardants or other harmful chemicals.

CertiPUR was developed “by members of the global foam industry,” although it does ban the use of some chemicals, such as PBDE flame-retardants and formaldehyde. It’s important to know that CertiPUR does not certify an entire mattress, only the foam portion.

Sneaky Mattress Certification

NAOMI (National Association of Organic Mattress Industry) was created by Pure Rest Organics, which is a mattress company, so, it is in no way independent or third-party, obviously!

The Bottom Line on Non-Toxic Mattress Certifications

Most certifications are of SOME value, but they can be used sneakily by mattress manufacturers. Manufacturers may claim to have a certification that they don’t actually have. So you really need to ask to see the actual signed certification, keeping in mind that if it’s out of date, it’s worthless. You also want to make sure that the entire factory that produces your mattress is certified free of toxins (particularly flame retardants), to guarantee that you don’t have to worry about cross-contamination.

The Best Stuff

The Good Stuff

The Okay Stuff

The Bad Stuff

The Sneaky Stuff

The post Safe Mattress Guide appeared first on Gimme the Good Stuff.

This time of year, I get a lot of questions about humidifiers. As temperatures drop outside, we turn up our thermostats for relief. But that warm air is dry, leaving our skin, hair and mucus membranes parched.

Add in a cold or flu, especially a sick baby, and you’ll be temped to run out and buy the first humidifier you can get your (very dry) hands on—but wait!

The humidifier market is crowded with products–cool-mist and warm-mist humidifiers; big units, small units, and whole-house humidifiers; cute humidifiers for baby; humidifiers with “air washing” and UV features; etc. When I started researching humidifiers and saw all of these options, I understood why so many readers and clients ask me for help choosing one!

You may have also heard about some of the health risks associated with humidifiers. They can over-humidify a space, which may lead to the growth of mold and bacteria in your home. If not cleaned regularly, the humidifier itself can be the perfect breeding ground for bacteria.

And warm-mist humidifiers, also knows as vaporizers, come with a burn risk because they heat water to create steam. Many pediatricians warn against using these units near children.

All that said, a good humidifier could become your best friend this winter. Here are my top tips for humidifiers–what kind to choose, and how to use it to maximize benefits and eliminate drawbacks:

1. Choose an evaporative cool-mist humidifier. According to my research, one of the best cool-mist humidifiers is the Honeywell HCM-350. (Shoppers agree; it’s the best-selling unit on Amazon!) Warm-mist and cool-mist are the two basic types of humidifiers. Aside from the burn risk mentioned above, warm-mist humidifiers are higher maintenance and often more expensive. You should also avoid ultrasonic cool-mist humidifiers, which are more likely to over-humidify your space. 
   
   

   I recommend the Honeywell Cool Mist Humidifier.

2. If you’re set on the idea of warm mist, consider Stadler’s HERA Ultrasonic Humidifier, which produces both cool and warm mist.  This is a good humidifier, but because it’s ultrasonic, you run the risk of over-humidifying your space. Get a hygrometer and monitor it to make sure the humidity level in your home stays in the safe range of 30-50%.
3. Avoid humidifiers that require the addition of quaternary ammonium compounds, as they are linked with asthma and respiratory disorders, as well as skin allergies and irritation. For instance, Venta humidifiers require a “water treatment additive,” which contains the aforementioned compounds.
4. Keep your humidifier clean! This might mean cleaning it daily or every few days. Follow the manufacturer’s recommendations. I recommend using white vinegar to clean them.
5. But don’t worry about features that kill water-borne microbes or purify your air. Some units (including the Honeywell cool mist humidifier I recommend) have UV bulbs that are supposed to kill germs in tap water. Unless you’re living off the grid, your drinking water shouldn’t have these germs. Also, some humidifiers claim to have “air washing” abilities. Studies by Consumer Reports and others conclude that these claims are pretty much bogus. Don’t rely on a humidifier to purify your air. Instead, try a natural charcoal purifier, like a Moso bag.
6. Last but not least, start with good water. One of the most important (and overlooked) considerations when it comes to humidifiers is the water you put into the unit. Unfiltered tap water is full of all kinds of unhealthy stuff. If you use water that contains chlorine, for instance, the humidifier vaporizes chlorine and spreads it through your home.

Stay sane,

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The post Choosing a Humidifier for Winter Survival appeared first on Gimme the Good Stuff.

Written by Maia, President

Happy New Year! Did you resolve to purge toxins from your home in 2016? If so, you will find our e-book, Detox Your Home in 4 Weeks, an easy guide. I hope it brings you improved indoor air quality, health, and peace of mind.

You’ve probably noticed that at Gimme the Good Stuff we talk a lot about the importance of sleeping on a non-toxic mattress. I’m also aware that all of the mattresses I recommend you purchase are at least a couple thousand dollars, and sometimes much more. Many of you have asked about getting a futon instead of a mattress, as futons tend to be less expensive.

I made this video to explain the difference between a natural, non-toxic mattress and a futon. I’ll also show you what these both look like, including a cross-section of the inside of some White Lotus models.

What You’ll Learn In This Video

When choosing a mattress or a futon you’ll want to avoid:

• Polyurethane foam (Opt for 100% pure latex instead.)
• Any mattress that’s treated with flame retardants (Wool acts as a natural flame barrier.)

The key difference between a natural futon and a natural mattress are:

• The futon won’t have handles on the side, so they are harder to move around.
• A futon will be slightly thinner than a mattress (usually around 5 inches think rather than 8 or 9 inches).
• Futons should cost around 15% less than a mattress.

What you may be surprised to learn is that both organic mattresses and organic futons are made from the same materials (typically wool, cotton, and latex), and you can put a mattress on a futon frame and a futon on a bed.

I had a blast making this video, and am grateful to White Lotus for letting us shoot it in their super cool DUMBO store. You’ll notice my mom babysitting Wolfie in the background! I don’t totally love watching myself on camera, but we will be rolling out some more videos in the coming month, so I will have to get used to it. Let us know what you think!

Stay sane,

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The post How to Choose a Non-toxic Mattress or Futon (and What’s the Difference) appeared first on Gimme the Good Stuff.

Gimme the Good Stuff’s guest blogger Valerie Bennis is a certified aromatherapist and the founder of Essence of Vali aromatherapy products. Her most popular blend is one that promotes better sleep. Obviously, having young kids pretty much puts getting

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Sleep difficulties have reached epidemic proportions (especially for new parents!) yet we know that a good night’s rest is the foundation of good health. More and more evidence points to lack of sleep as a contributor to declining physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. There is no doubt about it: good sleep is an imperative ingredient in our health regime.  

When I started my practice as an aromatherapist nearly a decade ago, one of my private clients asked me to create a special blend to help her sleep. As my practice grew and I launched my line, Essence of Vali, the demand for this sleep blend also grew. More and more people seem to be tossing and turning!

Two Common Sleep Challenges
Some people fall asleep easily and then wake up at 3:00 in the morning, while others take many hours to fall asleep the first time. In my experience, these are the two most common patterns. Experts say that we need at least 7 hours of sleep. Even those of us who consider ourselves “good sleepers” may not be getting enough rest.

Why Do We Have So Much Trouble Sleeping?
I believe that most of these sleeping difficulties (at least for people without babies who wake frequently at night) are due to stress and also due to some of the foods we eat. So how do we address these common issues?

Limit or avoid…

• Coffee, soda, and alcohol: These substances affect our energy in some way–be it stimulating or sedative. Try drinking water and decaf herbal teas instead, which contribute to your wellbeing and create balance in your body, mind, and spirit, rather than a roller coaster effect.

• Sugar: The impact of sugar is a spike in energy and then a “fall down,” creating a vicious cycle of up and down. Try sweet treats like dates, peaches, or a banana with natural peanut butter in place of candy, cookies, or ice cream.

• Nicotine: I think this one goes without saying!

• Stress: How do we eliminate the toxin of stress? We can empower ourselves to significantly decrease its impact on our lives by doing things that ease our existing stress levels.

14 Stress-Busting Tips

1. Restorative yoga (gentle yoga)
2. Exercise
3. Dancing
4. Listening to music
5. Talking to someone really positive
6. Writing in a journal
7. Taking a bath with a calming bath oil
8. Positive affirmations
9. Drinking herbal tea, such as chamomile
10. Rescue Remedy or other bach flower essences
11. Aromatherapy. Essence of Vali’s sleep blend combines essential oils from plants that all have sedative properties, which helps ease the user into a peaceful sleep and comforts them during times of stress.
12. Massage or self massage
13. Helping a friend or stranger
14. Acupuncture

7 Other Ideas for Improving Sleep

1. Keep a regular schedule in terms of when you go to sleep and when you wake up.
2. Do not eat a heavy meal before bedtime.
3. Keep sound and light out of your bedroom as much as possible.
4. Take a relaxing bath prior to getting into bed.
5. Use natural products instead of prescription medication or over-the-counter products.
6. Do some breathing exercises and listen to relaxation tapes.
7. Do not listen to or watch the news before bed.

You deserve not only to get a great night’s sleep each night, but to maintain optimum health so that you can sleep well! The two, I believe, go hand in hand. Begin your Sleep Health Regime today.

Valerie Bennis is a certified aromatherapist and the creator of the Essence of Vali line. She is known for creating natural products that really work, smell great, and appeal to men, women, and children of all ages. The company has won industry awards for its blends and has been mentioned in three books that highlight non-toxic products. Valerie is dedicated to a healthy lifestyle and loves inspiring people to take impeccable care of themselves. Learn more at essenceofvali.com. Use August’s special code AUG for 20% off at checkout.

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The post Aromatherapy for Better Sleep appeared first on Gimme the Good Stuff.

Why is it that pediatricians advise parents to sleep train their babies when they are 12 weeks old? Probably because it wouldn’t work before that—the baby wouldn’t learn to “self soothe” and the screaming process would repeat every night. Until they are around three months old, babies have no capacity for long-term memory and therefore cannot appreciate repetitive behaviors, much less daily routines.

Of course, if you’re a follower of Dr. William Sears, you won’t ever contemplate sleep training your baby. Like any good attachment parent, you’ll be happily tandem breastfeeding a five-year-old as well as a newborn all night on a king-sized futon.

Lazy Moms Love Attachment Parenting!

I practice attachment parenting because it caters to my intuitive understanding of what’s the most natural developmental experience, for both Felix and me. But frankly, it also caters to my laziness – it was easier to nurse on demand than to mix up bottles of formula or drag out the breast pump. It also was easier to allow Felix to sleep in our bed, where I could roll over and nurse every couple of hours instead of stumbling down to a nursery four or five times each night.

The Problem with Co-Sleeping

Because babies do begin to recognize routines at the three-month mark, the ones that form at this stage can be difficult to break. Any parent who has allowed their baby to join them in bed will attest to this, probably with a grim countenance of weariness and doubt.

Of course, it’s not sharing a bed with your baby that’s the problem. More likely, it’s the all-night nursing party that turns otherwise sane women into simpering, irritable, intolerant shrews. In prehistoric times, women who nursed their children all night were likely able to nap during the day while family helped with childcare. The gutting twist of our “gender equality” is that modern moms are expected to go work each morning in a nap-free office or (arguably even harder) hang solo with the baby all day.

The Problem with Sleep Training

Theoretically, I’m against sleep training; intuitively, I know there’s no benefit to a baby being left alone in a room to scream himself to sleep. Studies both confirm and refute this hunch, but I don’t need proof to convince me that Felix is better off not being forced to cry it out. Given the demand of modern motherhood, however, many of us could probably benefit from…let’s call them sleep “exercises.”

Co-Sleeping Soundly

When you look at the current popular theories on sleep training (Weissbluth, Ferber, Sears, Pantley) they seem to be either unduly complex or totally oversimplified.

What worked for us was Dr. Jay Gordon’s method, (I have blogged about this before), which essentially consists of night weaning while continuing to co-sleep. What’s so incredible is that once a child learns he will not be able to nurse in the middle of the night, he just stops waking up! I am addicted to Felix’s snuggles, and am now in no rush to get him out of our bed.

The crushing fatigue I suffered during Felix’s first couple of years is less unbearable in memory than it was in reality. Still, I plan to employ Dr. Gordon’s methods a little earlier with any future kid my husband and I have. This is assuming, of course, that Felix ever moves to his own bed and gives us a chance to conceive another child.

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The post Sleep Training for Attachment Parents appeared first on Gimme the Good Stuff.

Nana holds a sleeping Felix, 2 days old.

As I’ve mentioned before, Felix still wasn’t sleeping through the night after his second birthday, and it seemed like it wasn’t going to happen any time soon. I love co-sleeping, and most nights, despite Felix’s continued desire to nurse frequently, it has been a pleasant experience–although in truth there have been many nights that were miserable exceptions.

Sleeping Without Nursing: An Impossible Goal?

Recently, I decided I wanted to wean Felix by the time he turns three (a subject for another post!), and that the all-night nursefest will be the first feeding to go.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution

When it came to a “sleep training” strategy, I long ago decided against any cry-it-out method. I bought Elizabeth Pantley’s The No-Cry Sleep Solution when Felix was six months old, and while in theory I love Pantley’s approach to babies and sleep, the process she recommended felt complicated when I tried to implement it.

When Felix turned two, I purchased The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers, and this time swore I would really put Pantley’s suggestions into action. Again, every time I began the process, I was overwhelmed by too many steps and strategies–sleep logs, jotting down notes in the middle of the night, yanking my nipple from Felix’s mouth before he dozed each time we breastfed…I was too tired just reading the steps involved in Pantley’s plan to give it a fair shot.

Dr. Jay Gordon: Changing Sleep Patterns in the Family Bed

A friend recommended Dr. Jay Gordon’s “sleep training” method, and it sounded simpler and more straighforward than The No-Cry Sleep Solution, although not quite as gentle.

While Dr. Gordon’s plan is not a no-cry sleep training method, it is, in my opinion, a great alternative to the Weissbuth and Ferber methods (I’ve read both of those books, too).

At no point during Dr. Gordon’s plan is the baby or child left alone to cry, and you can continue to co-sleep throughout and after the process–in fact, Dr. Gordon recommends that you do. And unlike Pantley’s no-cry method, Dr. Gordon advocates a simple plan devoid of sleep logs or multiple strategies cobbled together–and it’s all over within about ten days. Best of all, there is no book to purchase and slog through–Dr. Gordon’s method is posted right on his website.

Needless to say, I love Dr. Gordon’s method. I didn’t find his explanation of the method to be totally easy to follow, so I will paraphrase it for you below.

Note: This is summary only; please refer to Dr. Gordon’s website to learn more about his sleep philosophy.

Dr. Jay Gordon’s Stance on Sleep

• Babies should not be “trained” to sleep through the night before one year of age, and the older they are, the easier the process will be.
• Co-sleeping is the best nighttime arrangement for most families; you do not have to put your child in her own bed in order for her to sleep through the night.
• Trust your instincts. If, at any point during the implementation of Dr. Gordon’s plan–or any other sleep training method–it feels wrong, stop and try again in a few months.

Dr. Gordon’s 10-Day Sleep Plan for Babies One and Older

Decide on a chunk of seven hours of sleep that you determine to be most valuable (Dr. Gordon recommends 11:00 p.m. through 6:00 a.m., and this seemed to work best for us). This is the block of time during which your child will be “trained” to sleep on his own.

Phase One: Nights 1-3

1. At any time before 11:00 p.m., you may nurse or cuddle your baby/child to get her to sleep the first time and to get her back to sleep when she wakes.
2. After 11:00 p.m., when your baby/child wakes up, hug him, pat him, rock him, or nurse him for a short period of time, but make sure you don’t let him fall asleep at the breast and that he’s put back down awake.
3. Repeat Step 2 throughout the night.
4. At 6:01 a.m., do whatever you have been doing as a morning routine, including nursing.

NOTE: Because Felix is 2.5 years old, I did not nurse him back to sleep during these first three nights, and went straight to the second phase of Dr. Gordon’s plan (see below). Felix didn’t protest much, especially if he was allowed to “hold the boobie.” I imagine this step is more challenging with younger toddlers.

Phase Two: Nights 4-6

1. Again, the nursing stops at 11:00 p.m. When your baby wakes up, hug him, rock him, or cuddle him for a few minutes, but do not breastfeed him, and put him down awake. (The rocking chair was a good substitute for nursing for us, although I often cheated and let Felix fall asleep there.)
2. Repeat Step 1 throughout the night.
3. You may nurse your baby at 6:01 a.m.

Phase Three: Nights 7-10

1. After 11:00 p.m., don’t pick your baby up. When he awakens, talk or sing to him, touch him, but don’t pick him up.
2. Repeat Step 1 throughout the night.
3. At 6:01 a.m. you may resume breastfeeding, if you desire.

Ongoing

After these first ten nights, continue to nurse to sleep if you want to, but do not feed your baby when he wakes up throughout the night. The same goes for morning nursing–it’s up to you if you want to continue to breastfeed beginning at 6:01 a.m. (or 7:01 a.m., or whatever time works).

My Takeaways

• This is not a no-cry method for every kid. Felix never full-on wailed during this process, but I would predict a fair amount of crying–albeit with mom or dad right there–for younger toddlers and babies.
• Felix doesn’t often wake up before 11:00 p.m. anyway, so we are now going from 8:30 p.m. (his bedtime), until 6:00 a.m. with no nursing. I breastfeed again at 6:00 a.m. in order to (sometimes) get another 30 minutes of sleep out of him.
• After ten days, your child may not be sleeping through the night. Some nights Felix still wakes up several times and needs a pat or pillow adjustment, but this is less disruptive than 45 minutes of nursing. Plus, I now see an end in sight and believe that within a short time I won’t have to intervene at all during the night. If your baby is in his own bed, you may be disrupted even less.
• Our goal is to have Felix in his own room by the time he is three, so he starts the night in his own bed (in our room). He generally wakes up at around 2:30 a.m. and climbs into our bed, where he (usually) falls back to sleep without much fuss.
• Felix used to often wake in the middle of the nap and want to nurse. Since implementing Dr. Gordon’s plan, Felix either sleeps through his nap, or I pick him up and watch TV from the rocking chair while he sleeps his final 45 minutes.

Our next challenge will be getting Felix to fall asleep that first time without nursing. I am all ears, people!

Stay sane,

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The post My 2.5-Year-Old Is Sleeping Through the Night (Sorta) appeared first on Gimme the Good Stuff.

• Felix Is 2 Weeks Old: People start asking me if my new baby is sleeping through the night. At this point, nighttime doesn’t seem to mean anything to Felix, whose 24-hour nurse/nap fest is punctuated by periods of wakeful fussing every two hours or so, day and night.
• Felix Is 4 Months Old: Our pediatrician gives us the go-ahead to sleep train our baby, saying that he no longer needs to breastfeed in the middle of the night and should be left to cry himself back to sleep when he wakes up. We ignore this advice and continue nursing throughout the night with Felix in our bed. Sometimes I love this arrangement, and sometimes I am exhausted and unhappy.
• Felix Is 6 Months Old: I begin lying when people ask about Felix’s sleep habits, claiming he “usually sleeps through the night,” since I no longer am aware of any babies Felix’s age who haven’t met this milestone, and I’m sick of lectures from our pediatrician to get him out of our bed, stop nursing at night, and let him cry it out.
• Felix Is 9 Months Old: People finally stop asking if Felix is sleeping through the night, because they assume by this age he must be, like every other baby they know.

An Overdue Milestone?
In Felix’s baby book, the milestones list is roughly chronological, each line beginning with “When you first…” and a blank space to fill in the age when the benchmark is met.

The chart begins with “smiled” and ends with “said the alphabet.” Since Felix has been singing his ABC’s for months now, this page of his baby book is complete, but for one glaring omission. The “slept through the night” milestone is nestled right between “ate baby food” and “crawled,” two benchmarks Felix hit before he turned seven months old. Apparently the authors of the baby book know all the same families I do.

What’s Wrong with Him?!

Because I’m not friends with any families who co-sleep, skip the cry-it-out training, and continue to breastfeed their toddlers, I don’t know if my experience is unique. My hunch is that unless you sleep train and night-wean your baby, he’s not going to sleep through the night. Or maybe everyone else is lying too?

From the research I’ve done (including consulting my own and my brother’s baby books, as we were not sleep-trained children), it seems that extended nursers usually sleep all night after they are weaned, or between two and three years old, whichever of these happens last.

The Myth of Sleeping Through the Night

One obvious but often ignored fact is that no one sleeps through the night. We all wake between sleep cycles, if only to roll over or re-squash our pillow, and even if we don’t remember doing so come morning. My husband habitually mumbles gibberish in the wee hours before dawn, sometimes with his eyes open.

When Felix awakens, instead of bunching up his pillow and tucking the blankets under his chin, he wants to breastfeed, because this is how it’s always been. At the time of this writing, I don’t mind obliging him: I barely wake up, and fall back asleep the moment he’s latched on. His own sleep is virtually uninterrupted, and he wakes up cheerful and well-rested. But it’s not always so cozy a picture in the James family bed.

An excerpt from a recent email I sent to my my mother, who usually receives the brunt of my exhausted frustration:

Ugh! Felix nursed constantly last night, all night. It’s not the nursing that is so troublesome, but he plays with my other nipple and I can’t sleep through this (not well anyway). In these moments (hours), I find myself seething, thinking of Dr. Sears and his benign little know-it-all smile and wanting to claw his eyes out!

From Smug to Ugh

When it comes to our sleeping arrangements, my emotions run the gamut. Sometimes, I operate from a place of self-satisfied conviction that I’m doing what’s best for my kid—emotionally and physically—by sleeping near him, a practice shared by every primate besides humans. Other days, I’m exhausted and desperate, ready to renounce my beliefs, buy a crib and some earplugs, and let Felix scream, no matter how it may be harming him.

It’s my nature to never feel 100 percent certain of any decision I make. I agonized over which vaccines to get for Felix, and finally decided to give him all of his shots, on a delayed schedule. But, in my gut, does it still feel wrong each time he’s jabbed in the perfect, chubby thigh? Yup. And, in the months before he received his pertussis vaccine, did I fret when a cough sounded a little, well…whoopish? Totally.

Obviously, some parenting decisions are easier than others. When it comes to vaccines, at least either choice is about Felix’s wellbeing (or the wellbeing of the community at large). When it comes to allowing him to cry it out in order to learn to “self soothe,” I just can’t shake the truth: for our family, this decision would only be about making my own life easier, not because I think that “learning to fall asleep on his own” is something that will truly benefit Felix at age two.

Perhaps I should have said this paragraphs ago, but I realize that for moms working outside of the home, sleep training is likely the only realistic option. And I know dozens of amazing mothers with incredible, well-adjusted sleep-trained kids.

But Would it Be Better for Felix?

I have tossed around the notion of doing sleep training because perhaps Felix would benefit from having a more well-rested, and thus happier and more fun, mother. But then again, a lot of  things would make me a happier mom—like drinking three glasses of wine while Felix and I eat lunch, or putting him in front of a Bob the Builder DVD for an hour while I take a bath (and drink three glasses of wine there). Of course, it would also be better for him to eat homemade spelt muffins than organic cheese curls, but I resort to a ton of packaged snacks simply because they are so much easier. Parenting choices fall on a spectrum, and we all have to find our comfort zone.

At this point, I can’t make myself comfortable with the idea of closing the door on Felix and letting him cry, no matter how tired some mornings find me. So, for us, for now, that section of his Felix’s baby book will just have to remain blank. Talk to me again when he’s three.

Stay sane,

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The post My Two-Year-Old Doesn’t Sleep Through the Night appeared first on Gimme the Good Stuff.